**This is part of a series of posts I wrote when pregnant, but before we announced publicly.**
At my RE's office, once you are pregnant, you switch to seeing the "pregnancy nurse". As you can imagine, I've never been so happy to see someone again.
After seeing the heartbeat, we were given the choice of weekly or bi-weekly ultrasounds. I'll give you one guess as to which one I picked. (Honestly, who chooses to wait 2 weeks to see the baby again?!). The weekly assurances have been incredibly helpful. It's nice to have affirmation that all the things I felt in the 7 days prior must have been normal, because the baby is still growing, heartbeat flickering away.
The heartbeat has gotten steadily faster. Going from 127, to 157, to today's 172. Something else that has been steady: the nausea. Not to mention the cramping. It's like every fiber of my body is screaming at me to lie the hell down at all hours of the day. As someone who is not used to sitting still, it's frustrating and hard to get used to. My house needs cleaning! The garden is out of control! All I can do is shrug and hope that I'll feel better when I hit the second trimester.
I feel like I have to constantly add a disclaimer every time I talk about symptoms: I still feel so lucky, and wouldn't change this for anything in the world. But you know, I'm still a pregnant lady looking forward to a day when I feel a bit more normal again. I already feel like my body is not my own (I've already said goodbye to my thin waist, which stopped being thin almost immediately), but that's okay.
I still don't feel like I've let out all the breath I am holding, and probably won't until I'm holding a crying baby in my arms. Although the pregnancy nurse made a really good point as she said, "My kids are in their 30's and I still worry all the time." I suppose worry is here to stay.
For now, I take it one week at a time, with an eye on hitting 12 weeks.