Monday, September 21, 2015

8 weeks, 3 days

**This is part of a series of posts I wrote when pregnant, but before we announced publicly.**

At my RE's office, once you are pregnant, you switch to seeing the "pregnancy nurse".  As you can imagine, I've never been so happy to see someone again.

After seeing the heartbeat, we were given the choice of weekly or bi-weekly ultrasounds.  I'll give you one guess as to which one I picked.   (Honestly, who chooses to wait 2 weeks to see the baby again?!).  The weekly assurances have been incredibly helpful.  It's nice to have affirmation that all the things I felt in the 7 days prior must have been normal, because the baby is still growing, heartbeat flickering away.

The heartbeat has gotten steadily faster.  Going from 127, to 157, to today's 172.  Something else that has been steady: the nausea.  Not to mention the cramping.  It's like every fiber of my body is screaming at me to lie the hell down at all hours of the day.  As someone who is not used to sitting still, it's frustrating and hard to get used to.  My house needs cleaning! The garden is out of control! All I can do is shrug and hope that I'll feel better when I hit the second trimester.

I feel like I have to constantly add a disclaimer every time I talk about symptoms:  I still feel so lucky, and wouldn't change this for anything in the world.  But you know, I'm still a pregnant lady looking forward to a day when I feel a bit more normal again.  I already feel like my body is not my own (I've already said goodbye to my thin waist, which stopped being thin almost immediately), but that's okay.

I still don't feel like I've let out all the breath I am holding, and probably won't until I'm holding a crying baby in my arms.  Although the pregnancy nurse made a really good point as she said, "My kids are in their 30's and I still worry all the time."  I suppose worry is here to stay.

For now, I take it one week at a time, with an eye on hitting 12 weeks.


  1. Worry is the new normal. I'm still trying to get used to it. All of the awesome makes up for the worry though. We waited so long and when I finally got my positive test, I went to the doctor to be told "don't get your hopes up. It's a really faint line." So I also tried to be grateful and not complain about pregnancy. I felt like everyone I talked to was always "I LOVED being pregnant" but I never felt that. Like you said, my body didn't feel like my own. For a long time I didn't look pregnant. I was just puffy. I ended up with sciatic nerve pain. I could side shuffle with no pain like I was doing basketball drills but walking slowly in a straight like felt like someone was stabbing me in the back. Nap when you need it, eat when you need it... Listen to that foreign body of yours. LOL. I don't regret a single nap during my pregnancy. The gardening and cleaning will still be there when you feel up to it. Or just make your husband do them!! Best of luck. I'm beyond happy for you.

    1. So funny, I keep telling Jason, "You know those people who say they love being pregnant? yeah - I don't think I'm one of them". Of course I love that we're actually here, but it's a bunch of worry, and being sick, and being poked and prodded. I am glad to hear the awesome will make up for it ;) Thanks MC!!