12 weeks and some number of days

This week was my first trimester screening, which basically means lots of viewing time using a high tech (external!!) sonogram machine.  It.was.awesome.

Baby is measuring 5 days ahead and is also very, very energetic!  His constant bouncing made it very hard for the nurse to take the photos she needed (but made it that much more entertaining to watch him*).  "This one is going to give you guys a run for your money" she said.

So we've got a giant baby who is never going to stop moving. I fear for our house.

We went public a few days ago, telling more extended family both in person and via phone calls.  We also did the whole social media announcement thing.  You would think at this point it's starting to feel real, but nope.

This week we also had genetic counseling.  My RE thought this was overkill, but the OB felt it necessary given the prior loss, which was due to a chromosomal abnormality. I pushed back on going but as the OB said "it's just talking" so why not?

I'll tell you why not: because after 30 minutes of going through our family history (which is really boring because everyone is pretty damn healthy), we got to listen to all the reasons why our baby is at a higher risk of an issue.  The big takeaways:

1) I'm 34, which increases chances of a problem
2) We had a prior loss due to a chromosomal abnormality, which increases chances of a problem

so all in all:  no shit Sherlock

And the real kicker is - there's nothing we can do about it.  So all that counseling did was scare the crap out of me.

Tomorrow is an appointment to the regular doc (it's like a part time job keeping up with all the appointments) to check out the trouble breathing and heart racing problems I am having.  A lot of times it feels like I just can't get enough air.  Since this is happening so early in pregnancy, both the RE and the OB are a bit concerned.  I'm not concerned really, but it is unnerving and uncomfortable, and it happens a lot.  So I'll be happy if there's something they can tell me to do to help when it happens.

Yesterday I was terribly sick all day and now I am sitting here trying to suck in air.  I must admit it gets to me every now and then.  But then I take out my doppler and hear that fast little pitter patter of baby's heart and I'm reminded what all this is for.

*No, I don't know the sex.  The anatomy scan is not until 20 weeks.